Ten pieces of advice to change your life

Author: Padre Alejandro Cortés González-Báez  

 

 

I am an old man of 55 years of age with old-fashioned ideas and a very sedentary life. I spend most of my time at work sitting “conversing” with people. During these “chats” many varied topics come up: good things and bad; problems and opportunities; successes and failures; dreams and disappointments…; in short, a little bit of everything.

As you very well know, we old people like to give sermons. It seems that just the sight of a young person awakens in us the hunger to give advice and we always say the same phrases: “Look, if I tell you this, it’s because I want to help you…” “When I was your age I thought like you…” “I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I made…” “The world today is really bad…” “In my day, what hope was there that we would disobey our parents…!”

That is why today I want to give you another type of advice; I would like to show you how you can change your life in little time; sometimes two or three hours are sufficient, or even a few minutes.

1- Race in your cars with your friends when you leave the parties. It is better to do it after having had a few beers and on a busy street with many stoplights, as this makes it more exciting.

2 - Make it a point to have a lot of fun with people you don’t know, since this is a way to learn more, especially drinking lots of alcohol and if there are other things…, well those too.

3 – So that the effects of alcohol are greater, it is convenient to mix different types of liquors and if you consume sugar in chocolates or in sweet drinks, it’s better, since it metabolizes and enhances the effects of the drunkenness.

4 – Remember that the party scene gets better after 3 in the morning when everyone is really “happy”, and this way one is capable of doing what one would not do while being sober.

5 – Showing off your figure by choosing well those clothes that will call attention gets good results, that way everyone will want to be with you, especially if you are a woman.

6 – Try to dance on top of the tables; it is the best way for everyone to see you.

7 – Don’t forget to use credit cards to pay, taking advantage of the stupendous offers by the credit card companies, and never distrust the waiters in what they are charging you or serving you; remember that the selection criteria for night club personnel are very demanding and that they are set apart for their honesty and morals.

8 – If ever you get into a problem, turn to those who are experts in solving them; those that have the greatest experience in handling these situations. Never call your parents, since you will just make them nervous, upset, and they will always end up giving you a sermon and maybe even ground you for a whole month.

9 – Make sure that your parents don’t know the people you go out with, since they could contact their families and that always complicates things. Don’t forget that if they don’t know where to get a hold of you, then you will have more freedom of flight.

10 – Out with the inhibitions. Leave your moral principles in a drawer at home, go out, and have fun like everyone else now that you have the age to do it. Remember that if you don’t do what they say, and you don’t follow their example, you could lose their friendship and friends are worth gold…they will never abandon you.

Well kids, that’s it for now. Don’t forget that this life is to enjoy, although, with any luck, if you get to be my age, you run the risk of ending up thinking like adults and make the mistake of giving your children – if you happen to have them – the advice that they avoid everything I have advised.

With a strong embrace.

Father Alejandro.

Oh. I almost forgot. One last piece of advice and this one is serious: Make an effort to think even if it’s for two minutes every day, in a silent and tranquil place, to see in which direction you lead your lives.