The Ever-Adolescent Parent.

Author: Padre Alejandro Cortés González-Báez  

 

 

More than a few fathers are frustrated when listening to their children, and consequently unable to communicate with them, feeling misunderstood, hurtfully disrespected, worthless and sense failure in their effort to impart values to their children.

They are fearful of their social surroundings, the demands of their children, and cave in to their children's whims, trading their authority for a quiet servitude.
On the other hand another of their frequent and damaging mistakes is to be frightened by what their children say and do, and therefore close the doors of mutual trust, building barriers that can remain for a lifetime.
Through the kindness of a friend I am able to share with you what the English doctor Ronald Gibson stated in a conference regarding generational conflicts. Dr. Gibson quoted four famous sentences:
1) The youth of today enjoy material things and have no manners; they do not respect authority and they have no respect for their elders. They are truly tyrants, they do not stand up when an elder enters the room. They contradict their parents and they are in the simplest of terms, evil.
2) I have no hope for the future of our country when the youth of today reach the mantle of power. They are spoiled, reckless and crass and hopelessly unteachable.
3) Our world has arrived at a critical juncture. Children do not heed their parents. The end of the world must be near.
4) This generation is wasted to the core. The youths are delinquent and lazy. They will never be the same as previous generations. This generation will be unable to maintain our culture.

At the end of these quotes Dr. Gibson made note that his audience was nodding their agreement. It was then that he cited his quotes.
The first quote was from Socrates (470-399 BC)
The seconds from Hesiod (720 BC)
The third from a priest who lived in 2000 BC.
The fourth was written on a clay vase discovered in the ruins of Babylon (present-day Baghdad), more than 4000 years old.

We find ourselves in the presence of fathers, mired in their own adolescence, confronted by their very own adolescent children. . When lack of patience and annoyance governs our attempts to educate, these are met by stubbornness and a vicious circle is born where words are hurled and battles last forever, to the end of time and even longer.

He who wants to speak must learn to listen. What we have to say is sometimes better said by the tone of our voice, and better received by our attention to what is being said to us. This is of utmost importance when we undertake to teach our children.